Self-reflection

As I sit here packing my stuff into boxes, and as I cut up pieces of paper to use as scrap, I think of how much I am, or in part, like my grandfather who would do the same thing. I mean, he's always doing stuff like that, like making use out of scrap, of which I also grew up being fascinated by junk if you will. Hey, you'll never know when a piece of gold card from those chocolate boxes might come in handy when writing out gift cards! :p

Because my dad bought a house for my grandparents next to ours, the first thing I always look out for, everytime I go back home are those flowers which were planted along the courtyard. They used to be my grandfather's when he was alive and I swear they dont look as good as they used to be. When I was younger, I used to pluck every single flower in the garden because there were just so many of em blossoming their beauty away, and well, just being the nuisance I am and scattering them around the perimeter. Now, there's barely enough for me to be a nuisance. Sometimes I think nature works in astonishing ways, and as silly as it is, I used to always believe that maybe there's a little hidden message. My gramps was the only person in the family with the beautiful handwriting, the perfect chinese calligraphies, and the most organized so-to-speak person. He was the only person who would eagerly wrap my textbooks with those darn plastic covers, and even with that, he had a special technique.

It is always all these small little things about a person we remember in life. I guess I'm kicking myself here for not being able to have appreciated what he was doing then. True, I was prolly still young, but then again, I was 17 when he passed away. I'm sure I had alot more sense during those last two years. Although I cannot say much about my maternal gramps who passed away a year ago because I wasnt so close to him, I did try my best to do what I could, and to do what I couldnt do for the grandfather I lost. But I guess it was just different. For all of you who dun know me well enuf, I will admit once again that I haf a major issue (or problem) dealing with death. But my one other problem in life is seeing all these people complain about their lives and how much they wanna die just coz life isnt happening the way they want it to be. Fux sake! Get a grip of yourselves! (Excuse my vulgarity there). I know that's probably quite hypocritical but, for those extreme cases, they deserve to be shot...other than that, for people like me and some others, take a moment to think.

Why are we as humans such greedy, penny-pinching, selfish beings? I know this might sound cliche but why cant we just be satisfied with what we have? Why cant those people understand the pain other people haf suffered thru the loss of loved ones and actually appreciate what they have? The answer? Because life can be just so perfidious. To love, we must endure pain and suffering. Pain and suffering of losing a loved one forever. What lives? Only memories. Painful, yet happy memories.

I know this is going no where, but, I have the tendency to relate the least of things to people that mean the most to me. Getting over a break up with the one person I thought I'd spend eternity with was #%$@$%! because everywhere was plastered with things we used to do. Or so it seems. Now that I'm with someone else, someone different, and dare I say better, getting over this relationship, may just be the end of me. Am I contradicting my thoughts here? Getting over anything for me, for dat matter, is not easy. I'm weak, it's true. I cant face my inner demons. I do sometimes with pepper-spray, metaphorically, and sometimes I have my knight in shining armour but most of the times, I'm on my own. These days, I have definitely changed my perspectives toward many things in life. Yes, live and let live, and altho there are some who do not deserve to be let lived, but, that's not up to us to decide.

This morning I started off feeling very lovey dovey, and I guess I should too, now that I've cried my sorrows off. To all my friends and especially my best friends to-the-bone who've helped me so much, and also my hubbeeschoobs for being my hero, thank you. You can be rest assured that I do appreciate what you've done for me. Each and every single bit. Honestly, people just dun understand how much those little things mean to me. If only you knew. :)

Package check

Yesterday, as I was cleaning up a small pile of my mountain-full of junk, I came across a stack of last year's Time magazines, which, I read with interest a small nugget of information at the side of one of it. Ignoramus that I am, I found out from an international weekly (and not the local media) that the state of Selangor now offers underwear inspection services as part of its anti-prostitution movement. I meah hey, me being away from Malaysia and all, you'd just hafta excuse me. As for the delay, I gots nothing to say. :D

Whose undies? Why, our significant others', of course.

This is rather hilarious because just a few days ago, my girlfriends and I were discussing over lunch the best way to test if one's lover or husband is indeed on the prowl (for streetwalkers or ANY woman on the street). After all, if you can still find lipstick on his collar or perfume on his shirt at this day and age, you should dump him not only for his infidelity but also for his stupidity.

But firstly, let's address the issue of prostitution. During the last summer hols when I was back in KL (sometime Dec?), I had the chance to dine with a few friends having Bak Kut Teh in Jln Imbi, apparently also a favourite feeding place for nightclub girls and their "managers" before each evening's business. While these ladies may not be offering more than an evening's company spent in drunken revelry, it was a jarring look at some of KL's most thriving vices. Honestly, I doubt that the checking of undies would stop its proliferation.

Back to the discussion of how one can find out if one's boyfriend or husband is cheating sexually, several interesting suggestions came up, while most were pretty standard.

"The most obvious is the changes in your sex life," contributes A. "If he suddenly does not want it anymore when he used to always want it, then something is definitely going on."

"Also, if he begins to take extra care of his appearance, although this is hard to tell if he's originally a vain or tidy person," offers B. "But if he isn't and he suddenly applies cologne or combs his hair, then you have to be careful."

"I think words mean a lot, especially to a man" says C. "If he stops saying 'I love you', or is less affectionate in his manner of speaking to you, then he's probably into something."

But how do you know for sure?

...well ask me nicely and I'll tell. :)

Or in the meantime, share your suggestions.

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And for my hubbeeschoobs:

Vous n'êtes pas simplement quelqu'un qui s'est avéré justement être là. Vous êtes beaucoup plus que cela. No one can melt my heart and cook the way you do! You are the best (apart from myself) bubba! 0:)

Yes, I can hear you guys groaning in agony once more - here she goes again tee hee well i promise i'll stop wif all these lil monthly anniv celebrations after the big 2! *ooo* o_O

Odds and ends

This is a good one - wud be funny if it did happen to me 6 yrs from now. :p

Two doctors opened up an office in Orange and put up a sign
reading " Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology".
However some on the town council weren't very happy about the
sign, so they changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors". This was
no good either so they tried "Schizoids and Haemorrhoids". Still
no good so they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics . Still no
good, nor were "Manic-depressives and Anal retentives", Minds
and Behinds", Lost Souls and Arseholes", "Analysis and Analcysts",
"Nuts and Butts", "Freaks and Cheeks", "Loons and Moons".
After much thought they finally agreed on
"Dr Smith and Dr Jones. Odds and Ends".

Speaking of loons, due to my failed attempt in reading the whole of my packaging design book (i believe it will do me good for the paper on Monday) yesterday, I will swear in front of this mass audience that, I will try again to accomplish this task of absurdity today, or "farce" as my mum likes to put it. Just like how it didnt go well with my first millions, I am starting on the second. Tee hee :p

Oh, and as part of my preparation for this monday's paper, I had to also do some research, and may I be so kind to impart with you dear readers what I found. "If you have not yet been afflicted with Googlemania, you are probably quite bemused by their latest fad — video search. Let's face it, Google's offer to host your home videos, while considerate, is also kind of creepy — even if you are Paris Hilton." LOL Talk about the next last mile. And also, marketers these days usually fall prey to the situation where their original elation about their success is mitigated by the realization that their pussycat has grown into a tiger. Dun ask me why I'm sharing all these worthless info wif you. I'm just bored, and I feel i'm pms-ing. And my creative juices haf gone bad because i haf no FRIDGE to store it in! That was prolly a corny joke.

It's ok if you dun get it. It's that time of the year when we're all losing our marbles. I truly understand. Good luck all! xoxo

Lost

I've so totally engulfed myself in this realm of fantasy and chicanery that I feel so numbened, yet protected by this shield of false-hopes. Yesterday, I went out shopping and my god, was I unleashed. I took 4 hours off before dinner to finally study with the girls at Starbucks, and then and there, I thought this is the life. Slowly and unconsciously I felt more care-free. Through out the past couple of days, I have these mirage of thoughts that I will win a million dollars this weekend. I will also pass my papers with flying colours to do Honours. I will also live happily ever after with my love. But who am I kidding?

I'm so lost in my delusions that all of a sudden, when a pin bursts my bubble, so hard and painful that I just fall tumbling down onto a spread of broken glass fragments. In this context, I have lost my will to study. One would say I'm crazy to be so emotionally-driven, that, everything I do is affected, and in part, by my emotions. People know me as the happy person who is always smiling. Sometimes the slightest thing(s) can even put a smile on my face. I guess that is true to an extent that I can only do things properly when I am happy and that things around me are alright. That is also probably my weakness (apart from SALES, chocolates and my hubbeeschoobs). I can never move on or concentrate on other things when a matter or problem is left unsolved.

Yes I know. Life does go on, despite the good and bad. I've probably said this to alot of my friends before, in that there are limits (in life) but these are the times you must regroup since every day is much quicker than the one that preceded it. We must be happy, and rational. Don't lose what you have in life; choice. If you ever learn something in life, even from a failure, or many failures, you have always moved forward, not backwards. I just need someone to hold my hand. Really i do.

The Fish

It's nothing much really, but I thought it'd be nice to share with my adoring public one of the happiest and "proudest" moments of my life - the first fish I've ever caught! Anchovies and tadpoles dont count. :p Well, if you remember, many moons ago, my huns and I took his friends away for the weekend visitng places outside of Melbourne. And one of these happened to be trout fishing!! :) So here is les poissons (i.e. the fish) altho i did forgot how much it weighed, wassit half a kilo boo? As long as it was big enuf to share hehe


Before...

The poor thing refused to die. I will spare the details on how it finally died. :x


...After!

Tada! It's half eaten but the credits all goto my huns for cooking it so well. Oodles of butter, with herbs and a zest of lemon mmMmmmm. Oh, the thrills of eating smoked/grilled fresh trout. There's this sense of satisfaction which is truly inexpressible of eating one's own catch, as remorseless as it sounds! :)

Some men ARE from Mars

I haf 2 blogs to put up today, one with a pic of a fish, and another, to complain (as usual) and share with you, my dear readers about the tragic mindset of old-fashioned chinese businessmen.

I am just pissed off because my label design was once again copied, torn apart, harassed (metaphorically speaking) re-edited and produced to look like some jang low-quality piece of poo. Anyway, long story short, I whinged and whinged to my dad. He told me to think this matter through professionally, also as a budding psychologist, and to put myself in the shoes of a CEO. So I shed off my psychological cocoon and placed a hell lot of effort into thinking. And this is what i thought...
Putting myself in the CEO’s natty suede loafers for a moment: As the keepers of the fiscal flame in an organization, most executives are, understandably, more focused on the more quantitative elements of a corporation’s daily life. I hope. This is your typical CEO, not the kind you find in my family amongst my uncles (except for one nice one).

They’re tasked specifically with both generating revenue and saving costs. And, at the end of the day, will be measured and compensated (or penalized!) by results that are summarized at the end of each quarter on a spreadsheet. Qualitative factors including user experience, design, content strategy and customer experience are considered a means to reach end-of-year financial goals, not an end unto themselves. In fact, compared to complex quantitative calculations and projections, design and content architecture issues seem relatively straightforward and simple. With no spreadsheet to consult, final decisions about design, customer experience and navigation elements might seem to be based on personal preferences, favorite colors and an armchair quarterback’s appreciation of what’s stylish and hip.

Most quantitatively-focused managers simply don’t comprehend the relationship between business strategy and customer experience, or how design and content architecture serve to facilitate and articulate strategic corporate goals in the marketplace. And, without a clearly articulated business rationale to support design priorities, they never will. That's what i think so anyways.

I mean, c'mon, you certainly don’t need an M.B.A. to understand basic business principles. It’s simply a matter of engaging your curiosity and beginning to make business issues relevant to your particular situation. On an ongoing basis, make a personal commitment to increase your general understanding of business issues, ideas and trends. By taking the time to study various industries and macro business issues, it becomes clear that there are business basics that drive every company. By finding parallels and lessons in other industries, you can begin to make better sense of your organization’s issues and challenges. I know I'm beginning to sound like im writing a journal entry for Harvard Business Review or something, but my point is that, the problem with alot of businessmen I've met through out my time as an intern at some of daddy's companies give me the impression that they seem to think inside the line. And yet they wonder how come their business is not expanding the way it should be or the reason why they are suddenly experiencing a downfall. Hello, wake up and smell the coffee.

One such good example is one of daddy's no-life no-brain useless brother (ah yes, the black sheep) who's only focus is to make big bucks FAST, especially by swindling people's money and when all goes wrong, the blame is put on people outside the company who are, in my or any perspective not associated with him or his filth, except maybe the fact that we have the same surnames. Useless retard. I didnt find him so bad awhile ago coz he thought my designs were good (yes, typical me) but after I saw wat he did to some of them, and his filthy accomplice of a "designer" (hmmph he probably graduated from the Longkang school of designers), i just placed him permanently in my "To Assasinate" list. He claims they are good and he even used the word professional. *pukes* Then when customers come back complaining about the typography errors, and the problems on the labels, he calls them stupid imbecile beings for not understanding english. As if he does. If u let me go on, it will def take forever coz I really despise this one uncle. Fume fume fume. I do sometimes think that some men ARE from Mars because they never seem to understand the way life works, or that the virtues of life have no significance to them. Which is why im thankful that my daddy is nothing like that, and that the male (yes you, the one who stays in mt waverly) is also, or can be a very understanding person.

My whole complaint prolly didnt have any coherence because I never make sense, especially when I'm angry. You can ask my booboo. He will def testify to that. :) Oh, and btw, the fish will appear tomorrow.